For the man who has everything but a baby (warning: TMI post, but educational if you need it)

I want to preface this by saying that men, do NOT complain about this test. You have no idea what the women go through. So man up. But women, please stand by your man as this is a very vulnerable time.

I've been approached by a couple of people asking what to expect when their man has to have the semen analysis done. So I thought I would put this out there if anyone is curious or apprehensive. Hopefully this will help you out.

We had this done at Hospital S (not sure if Hospital AM doesn't have this equipment or what). You walk in to a very small waiting room to fill out your paperwork. Then you are walked back to a room once there is the "all clear" (not sure why but they don't want you to make eye contact with any men as they might be embarrassed. Not like you can't see them in the waiting room). Ladies, you're able to go back with him for moral support.

The room you are led to is a little bit smaller than an exam room at the doctor's office. It's really nicely decorated, which soothing browns, a mod brown/black pleather couch, tan throw rug and mood lighting. There are cupboards and a sink just like in a doctor's exam room on the opposite wall of the door. The radio is in the room for a reason. You can hear the ladies up front laughing about what happened at their cousin's wedding last weekend and you can hear clanging and banging in the lab on the other side of the wall. That can ruin the mood. In the cupboard there are visual aides and gel-like aides to help with the process. Do not bring your own gel-like aides and no saliva or any other kind of "reproductive assistance." This actually would be described in the paper you get before-hand.

You can figure out how to aim for the cup. If you miss, you'll have to reschedule. And that wouldn't be a good thing.

Once you've got the specimen, be sure not to tip it over, even if it's sealed. Apparently we missed that instruction, but we didn't tell anybody and it didn't seem to make a difference. When you're all ready to go, knock on the door and the lady will come and get you. Again, no eye contact with anyone or something. Then she'll gather everything and you'll be on your way.

They give you all the time you need so don't feel pressured. It's hard to explain but you'll just hafta relax and maybe envision you and your woman are in a secluded bungalow in Jamaica.

I believe DH may be writing a guest post for all of you fellas that need a little male perspective. Hang in there, folks. If we can do it, you can too.